Where....

Where... 

*****This was taken from a previous blog written a few nights ago******


I guess this is just how it happens.

I was driving home from work the other night and I was thinking about going home....alone. This is the first time in about 7 years that I have lived alone...really alone.

And I love it - but there is this ache in my heart that I can't quite get rid of.

I remember years ago - I was at church camp. There was an altar call - and the Pastor was praying for all of these kids. The message had been about Fathers....and I went forward with such a grateful heart that I have such an amazing WONDERFUL dad. I stood there and watched all of these kids come forward to grasp on to the love of their heavenly Father, and I was so blessed. I realized I was one of the FEW that had a loving, wonderful father. But somewhere in my heart, I felt this ache - beyond all comprehension. I was praying to God and I started weeping.

The Pastor came over to me and I remember him laying his hands on my head and he said, "God is working on him right now. He has someone for you, He will have you both ready at the perfect time. He is working on someone for you right now."

I fell to my knees. 

I didn't know. I didn't realize the ache in my heart was that. I wept for a long time. 

I walked to the back of the sanctuary and I was telling a few kids from my group what I had experienced. I stood there with one of the guys, one that I loved like a little brother. He innocently looked at me as I watched one of the guys play the saxophone on stage and said, "Do you think you know who he is already?"

I just smiled and said, "I don't know." Silently, I cried.

I know this much to be true - God has someone for everyone. And more than that someone, is the timing. We have to be made ready to love completely, fully, unconditionally BEFORE we meet that one.

So I was driving home thinking about being alone, and I was happy. I know that I am moving to a place where I can be made ready. The familiar ache is in my heart still. I long for my future husband - for the man that God has for me. The one who will appreciate my tears, my laughter, my smile. The man who will call in sick to work just to lay in bed with me all day. The man who will love me in sweatpants and a tshirt just as much as he loves me in a beautiful dress. The man who, on our wedding day, when I look across the room and our eyes meet, he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with me. The man who will look out into the crowd and see my face and know, beyond all comprehension - that I ache......

To be near him.

I'm waiting for him.


And I am still believing.