pile of thoughts

September 3, 2008 

So there's this car sitting behind my condo, and I can see it from my window. 

I arranged the pillows just right on the seat in the second bedroom, opened the blinds to let some sunlight it, grabbed my mac and sat down to write. Then I saw the car, and inadvertently did a double take. I sat here for a second, looking at it wondering why it caught my attention.

It looks just like the car I went to prom in my junior year.... I chuckled. Random.




Another day that I can't complain about. Work was pretty good. We have fun.

One of our favorite pastimes, that even I partake in, is rubber band shooting. This is a fine art. And I am SO good at it. (Sometimes, I lie..........and this is one of those times.) Somehow I always end up with a million rubber bands on or around my desk area....to which I always exclaim, "That's weird, how'd these get here?" Often, it's from me misfiring and they just fall short....realllllllly short. Once I took one in the back of the neck, felt great. So I had to order a box of bands, and I sharpied it with "THIS IS NOT A TOY". That worked, LOTS. I'll be hard at work, and suddenly 67 bands will come flying at my face. Really.

Even better than rubber band shooting, is glove throwing. This is my all time favorite. Because our team is so super safe, the guys all carry sweet hand gloves in their back pockets. They are pretty nice, I put them on once and tried to type at the same time, thinking it would probably be safer to include some PPE in my daily work routine, but my typing skills looked a bit like this:

werkli fglafp] sdjg[prriphagqnlrk412

I gave that up. 

Anyway, (ADD, anyone?) Glove throwing. Generally, it's just Evan we do this to. It's pretty simple. Evan will be standing at the table, examining his door hardware schedule, and one of us will walk by, grab his gloves, and throw them down hard on the floor. He always replies with, "Got a lot of growing up to do." Or, if you feel the urge, you can chuck them as far as you can. Or if you are Tyler, you can hide them from Evan, up on the conduit above our heads, so when you say to Evan when he asks "Where are my gloves?", you can say, "Up Evan. Up where the birds fly." And Evan will look down at the ground. No one laughs at all. Then, once he figures out he should be looking UP, not down, he yells, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THOSE DOWN?" Cause Evan's tall, like me. OR, when Evan is sitting as his desk and his gloves are not on his person, taking them and throwing them on the ground super hard behind him always results in a chuckle from Ol Kosmac. Really.

I like to do it when they least expect it, like the ninja that I am. I go for the shock and awe....I could be like 30 feet away, and they're like WHOA, how'd my gloves get on the ground......yah, it was me. It's kind of like flag football, but not really.....

Yah, not really.

So anyway, I like my job 90% of the time, all of the time.



So I was sitting here looking out my back window and wondering....wondering if I am doing the right thing by sticking around for awhile longer, or if I am missing out on something else by staying here. Just when I think I've come to the right decision, doubt comes creeping in....

God didnt' give me a spirit of fear...nope. I'm reminded pretty quickly that doubt and fear - not so much from God. He is the joy giver.... 

Faith is trust. I have this ring that I've worn on my right hand ring finger for almost 10 years now. It simply says, "Faith = Trust". One and the same. I've got the faith to trust...it's just some days I forget, and I need that gentle reminder.

God is good. 

And I love that He hears my cry, even when I don't speak.