It's been awhile.
So I went for a drive on Saturday. I was restless. And I just wanted to...go.
I grabbed the dog collar off of the counter and figured if I was going to drive, I might as well make a drive that changed my life 7 years ago...
For the first half, I just went in silence. No music. Just my thoughts.
I turned left on to Boy Scout Road, and I tried to get a picture of what I was seeing, but I missed the opportunity.
It went by too fast.
Huh. Coincidence? I think not.
It looked like the road went on forever, and it was so pretty...the way the trees drooped over the road. All you could see for awhile was a road with trees hugging it on either side. It reminded me of home, of driving in the country. Where there isn't anything but pavement and trees - nothing to distract you.
But it was over too soon.
During the silence, I did a lot of considering. Where I've been, where I'm going. What I'm doing. How I'm happy. I considered my heart, searched it, questioning.
I like to think that I was taking a drive to "clear my head" when really, I was filling it with all the thoughts that I hadn't taken the time to really think about - if that makes sense. And my head is full.
I analyze EVERYTHING. And sometimes it makes me weary.
Like right now, I'm agitated because I don't think I am writing what I want to.
Here it is.
Sometimes I think I can't be broken again. I don't see how it's possible to be shattered into a million pieces again. And that's a good thing, I think. Because I feel healed. And I'm not really afraid, just amazed. Sometimes I think I have walls built up, only to find that there isn't anything there at all...just a heart that is waiting, willing. It's almost like I just turned around to realize that I was here the whole time, it just had to happen at the right moment.
So I think I'm just breathing....
