"...careful child, light the fuse and get away..."

It's been awhile.

So I went for a drive on Saturday.  I was restless.  And I just wanted to...go.  

I grabbed the dog collar off of the counter and figured if I was going to drive, I might as well make a drive that changed my life 7 years ago...

For the first half, I just went in silence.  No music. Just my thoughts.

I turned left on to Boy Scout Road, and I tried to get a picture of what I was seeing, but I missed the opportunity.

It went by too fast.

Huh.  Coincidence? I think not.

It looked like the road went on forever, and it was so pretty...the way the trees drooped over the road.  All you could see for awhile was a road with trees hugging it on either side.  It reminded me of home, of driving in the country.  Where there isn't anything but pavement and trees - nothing to distract you.

But it was over too soon.  

During the silence, I did a lot of considering.  Where I've been, where I'm going.  What I'm doing.  How I'm happy.  I considered my heart, searched it, questioning.  

I like to think that I was taking a drive to "clear my head" when really, I was filling it with all the thoughts that I hadn't taken the time to really think about - if that makes sense.  And my head is full.

I analyze EVERYTHING.  And sometimes it makes me weary.  

Like right now, I'm agitated because I don't think I am writing what I want to.  

Here it is.

Sometimes I think I can't be broken again. I don't see how it's possible to be shattered into a million pieces again.  And that's a good thing, I think. Because I feel healed.  And I'm not really afraid, just amazed.  Sometimes I think I have walls built up, only to find that there isn't anything there at all...just a heart that is waiting, willing.  It's almost like I just turned around to realize that I was here the whole time, it just had to happen at the right moment.  

So I think I'm just breathing....